Totus mundus histrionem agit

A passage on the World as a Stage of Folly, from Robert Burton's Anatomy of Melancholy. In the preface, Burton, in his assumed persona as "Democritus Junior", brings on stage the original Democritus, as remembered by Hippocrates. The Laughing Philosopher laughs at mankind, and most particularly "at the vanities and fopperies of the time", while he dissects some animals, and addresses his visitor thus:

 (...)

"And doth it not deserve laughter to see an amorous fool torment himself for a wench; weep, howl for a misshapen slut, a dowdy sometimes, that might have his choice of the finest beauties? Is there any remedy for this in physic? I do anatomize and cut up these poor beasts (2), to see these distempers, vanities and follies, yet such proof were better made on man's body, if my kind nature would endure it: who from the hour of his birth is most miserable, weak, and sickly (3); when he sucks he is guided by others, when he is grown great practiseth unhappiness and is sturdy, and when old, a child again, and repenteth him of his life past" (4). And here being interrupted by one who brought books, he fell to it again, that all were mad, careless, stupid: "To prove my former speeches, look into courts, or private houses. Judges give judgment according to their own advantage, doing manifest wrong to poor innocents to please others (5). Notaries alter sentences, and for money lose their deeds. Some make false moneys; others counterfeit false weights. Some abuse their parents, yea, corrupt their own sisters; others make long libels an pasquils, defaming men of good life, and extol such as are lewd and vicious. Some rob one, some another; magistrates make laws against thieves, and are the veriest thieves themselves (6). Some kill themselves, others despair, not obtaining their desires. Some dance, sing, laugh, feast and banquet, whilst others sigh, languish ,mourn and lament, having neither meat, drink, nor clothes. Some prank up their bodies, and have their minds full of execrable vices (7). Some trot about to bear false witness, and say anything for money (8), and though judges know of it, yet for a bribe they wink at it, and suffer false contracts to prevail against equity. Women are all day a-dressing, to pleasure other men abroad, and go like sluts at home, not caring to please their own husbands whom they should. Seeing men are so fickle, so sottish, so intemperate, why should not I laugh at those to whom folly seems wisdom, will not be cured, and perceive it not?" (9)

It grew late: Hippocrates left him; and no sooner was he come away, but all the citizens came about flocking, to know how he liked him. He told them in brief, that notwithstanding those small neglects of his attire, body, diet, the world had not a wiser, a more learned, a more honest man, and they were much deceived to say that he was mad. (1)

Thus Democritus esteemed of the world in his time, and this was the cause of his laughter: and good cause he had. 

Olim jure quidem, nunc plus, Democritus, vide:

Quin vides? Vita haec nunc mage ridicula est. (2)

Democritus did well to laugh of old,

Good cause he had, but now much more;

This life of ours is more ridiculous 

Than that of his, or long before.

 Never so much cause of laughter as now, never so many fools and madmen. 'Tis not one Democritus will serve turn to laugh in these days; we have now need of a "Democritus to laugh at Democritus" (3); one jester to flout at another, one fool to fleer at another; a great stentorian Democritus, as bit as the Rhodian Colossus. For now, as Sarisburiensis said in his time (4), totus mundus histrionem agit, the whole world plays the fool; we have a new theatre, a new scene, a new Comedy of Errors, a new company of personate actors; Volupiae sacra [the rites of the goddess of pleasure] (as Calcagninus willingly feigns in his Apologues) are celebrated all the world over, where all actors were madmen and fools, and every hour changed habits, or took that which came next (5). He that was a mariner to-day is an apothecary to-morrow; a smith one while, a philosopher another, in his Volupiae ludis [in these fêtes of the goddess of pleasure]; a king now with his crown, robes, sceptre, attendants, by and by drove a loaded ass before him like a carter, etc. Democritus were alive now, he should see strange alterations, a new company of counterfeit vizards, whifflers, Cuman asses, maskers, mummers, painted puppets, outsides, fantastic shadows, gulls, monsters, giddy-heads, butterflies. And so many of them are indeed (if all be true that I have read) (6). For when Jupiter and Juno's wedding was solemnized of old, the gods were all invited to the feast, and many noble men besides.  Amongst the rest came Chrysalus, a Persian prince, bravely attended, rich in golden attires, in gay robes, with a majestical presence, but otherwise an ass. The gods, seeing him come in such pomp and state, rose up to give him place, ex habitu hominem metientes [measuring the man by his garb]; but Jupiter, perceiving what he was, a light, fantastic, indle fellow, turned him and his proud followers into butterflies (1): and so they continue still (for aught I know to the contrary) roving about in pied coats, and are called chrysalides by the wiser sort of men: that is, golden outsides, drones, flies, and things of no worth. Multitudes of such, etc.

        Ubique invenies

Stultos avaros, sycophantes prodigos.

[You will find everywhere miserly fools and spendthrift sycophants.]

Many additions, much increase of madness, folly, vanity, should Democritus observe, were he now to travel, or could get leave of Pluto to come see fashions (...) 

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(2). Ut insaniae causam disquiram bruta macto et seco, cum hoc potius in hominibus investigandum esset.

(3). Totus a nativitate morbus est.

(4). In vigore furibundus, quum decrescit insanabilis.

(5). Cyprian, ad Donatum. Qui sedet crimina judicaturus, etc.

(6). Tu pessimus omnium latro es, as a thief told Alexander in Curtius. Damnat foras judex, quod intus operatur. —Cyprian.

(7). Vultus magna cura, magna animi incuria. —Am. Marcel.

(8). Horrenda res est, vix duo verba sine mendacio proferuntur: et quamvis solenniter homines ad veritatem dicendam invitentur, pejerare tamen non dubitant, ut ex decem testibus vix unus verum dicat. —Calv. in viii John, serm. I.

(9). Sapientiam insaniam esse dicunt.

(1). Siquidem sapientiae suae admiratione me complevit, offendi sapientissimum virum, qui salvos potest omnes homines reddere.

(2). E Graec. epig.

(3). Plures Democriti nunc non sufficiunt opus Democrito qui Democritum rideat. —Eras. Moria.

(4). Polycrat. lib. 3, cap., 8, e Petron.

(5). Ubi omnes delirabant, omnes insani, etc.; hodie nauta, cras philosophus; hodie faber, cras pharmacopola; hic modo regem agebat multo satellitio, tiara, et sceptro ornatus, nunc vili amictus centiculo, asinum clitellarium impellit. 

(6). Calcagninus, Apol. Chrysalus e caeteris auro dives, manicato peplo et tiara conspicuus, levis alioquin et nullius consilii, etc., Magno fastu ingredienti assurgunt dii, etc.

(1). Sed hominis levitatem Jupiter perspiciens, At tu (inquit) esto bombilio, etc., protinusque vestis illa manicata in alas versa est, et mortales inde Chrysalides vocant hujusmodi homines.

—oOo—